


The Decision

by Dxllhxuse



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: Angst, How Do I Tag, M/M, Ninja Ship Party, Requests, Sad dan, poor bby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 14:19:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7937884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dxllhxuse/pseuds/Dxllhxuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian made a decision and Dan can't handle it. Not anymore.</p><p>(lowkey) in universe ninja ship party </p><p>angst/sad </p><p>Based on a suggestion from an anon on tumblr</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Decision

**Author's Note:**

> how does anyone write relationship angst??? this is terrible

                He knew it was too good to be true—knew he’d have to lose Brian all over again. Danny didn’t want to move from the valley in the bed created by the weight of his heavy heart but knew he’d have to eventually, less he waste away. He’d already watched his **_friend_ ** walk out half an hour ago, pretending to be asleep to hide the stinging feeling of being abandoned. He’d nearly called out to him—nearly begged him to stay but he knew it would’ve been futile.

                Brian didn’t think of his counterpart in a “romantic fashion” or so he’d told Danny last week when he’d asked him on a date. That pain was nothing compared to holding onto Brian’s warmth for a single night and letting it slip from his grasp into the cold atmosphere. So one could sufficiently say that Danny was the least okay that he could be.

                Brian was waiting for him, he was sure of it, after all, he usually met up with him for a run or breakfast or something absurd. However, he didn’t care today, he would make him wait for years if only he got to stay in this one solitude space.

                The singer watched a throwing star lodge itself into the wall near his bed, a note pinned to it. He wished he had the energy to close his window so that Brian didn’t have to watch him decompose in the same place he’d left him.

                Reaching an arm out languidly, Danny ripped the note from beneath the star. With half lidded eyes, he scanned the messy scrawl of Brian’s handwriting:

**_WHY ARE YOU JUST LAYING THERE? GET UP, LETS GO_ **

                Danny could only groan in response, long fingers fisting around the remnants of a paper. Brian would give him shit for that—for not treating his mere existence as a gift, let alone like garbage.

                Burying himself in blankets again, Danny resolved to remain rooted to his bed and to fester like a rotted tree that has been struck by lightning—stubbornly rotting away. He wanted to ignore the thud landing near his bed but with the swift disposal of his cover, he had no choice but to face the ninja who was staring at him.

                Brian silently asked what was wrong with him—for someone so physically and mentally strong, his emotional capacity was an astonishing low. Blue eyes boring into him, Danny crumpled under the gaze, his confident bravado long discarded. He wanted to rant and vent, to tell Brian how _terrible_ he was, how in love with him he was—but what would be the result? Brian couldn’t possibly care.

                “You—forget about it, you wouldn’t understand,” he answered quietly, fingers tugging at the blankets around him. He wished he could hide himself again. Instead, he watched Brian shift legs, stoicism intact but indecisiveness playing throughout his eyes.

                “—say something if you’re gonna say it,” Danny erupted minutely, anxiety pumping through his veins. “Don’t just… _look_ at me.”

                The ninja’s eye twitched at the disrespect, jaw locking visibly beneath the cover of his face. He pulled down his mask beneath his mouth—the second time he’d done it for Danny.

                “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand, dumbass,” Brian said, voice hoarse, throat dry from being nonverbal for so long. He hated this— _talking_ —hated that he did it for Danny.

                “No, you _don’t_ understand,” Danny insisted, sitting up a little straighter. His voice was strained now—he didn’t want to cry in front of the other. “It’s…I dunno, it’s kind of a first love thing I guess. Like, it’s like no matter how _shit_ you treat me I can’t stop myself from liking you and it’s not like I don’t _try_ going out with other people…it’s that all I do is compare everyone to you and, unfortunately, no one is even _close_ to you— “, he swallowed his dignity, running his hands over his face and sighing, “and I just, goddammit Brian, _I just hate you so much!_ I hate how you are and how you act and how you look and I love you so much for all of these reasons and like…like…I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. I can’t get over you and it sucks because…it’s hard to explain.”

                Brian didn’t quite know what to say. It wasn’t as if this was new information—he’d figured it out some time ago—but he didn’t know how to deal with Dan’s…feelings for him. He couldn’t make sense out of it.

                “It’s only hard to explain because you’re being incredibly irrational—“

                “Of course I’m being irrational! No one’s _rational_ when they’re in love, Brian,” Danny interjected, tears brimming his eyes. He stood before Brian, looking down at him with more emotion than Brian had ever experienced from his friend. “Is that why you don’t want me? Is it because you’re scared of what you feel?”

                “Shut up—“ Brian said, his calm demeanor faltering for a split second before he regained composure.

                “That’s it, isn’t it? You have emotions, Brian, you can’t keep ignoring them!”

                “I’ll fucking kill you—“

                “As if you haven’t hundreds of times before,” Danny replied, his voice cracking as he used the back of his hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “You’re killing me _now_ because you can’t accept how you feel!”

                Brian’s hands were fisted at his sides and rage pulsated throughout him like dye in his veins.

                “Now you don’t want to say anything? Is it because you can’t **_rationalize_** your way out of it?” Danny mocked, more anger than hurt in his demeanor as he waved his hands before the ninja. “Just…tell me how you really feel, even if I don’t like it, it’s better than this…indifference.”

                Brian could kill Danny again if he really wanted to but Danny was tempting him so deliciously with an even better offer—when else would he ever get this chance? Even killing didn’t sound as lovely as the offer that the younger man had laid on the table for him.

                His decision making process was cut short by large hands holding onto his shoulders and brown eyes looking through him.

                “Please,” Danny whispered, begging for something—for anything.

                “Listen, okay, I am more than content being alone—trust me,” Brian said, his tone flat. Dan’s body began to fall apart from within listening to him speak. “But when I see you with other people, banging them or emotionally fucking them—I start realizing that, sure, I’m okay being alone but I don’t want to be lonely. How can I be who I’m destined to be if I let myself get **weak** by getting close to you?”

                He shook Dan’s hands off of his shoulders, pushing him away just a bit.

                “Yeah, I’d like to experience love, whatever it is…but I still am who I am. I don’t think I can do both with _you_ so I chose, happy now?” he questioned, apathetically looking at the crestfallen look drawn over Danny’s face as he pulled on his mask once more.

                Not knowing how to console him, he simply flicked him off, disappearing in a burst of smoke, leaving behind Danny who was choking and tearing up, both from the smoke and from Brian.

 

               

**Author's Note:**

> This was exactly 1220 words long how satisfying
> 
> leave more requests at my blog @cumslutarin on tumblr


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